Date:	2009-09-21 16:58
Subject:	Life
Security:	Public
Mood:	blah

So... That dog I was so in love with and wanted to adopt so much??? I got him!

As for everything else.. I just spend most of my days wanting out of here. This situation is more complex than I ever would have imagined. School... it's my hardest term yet. I have two B's right now! And.. I don't feel as though I'm retaining the information very well. :( Also I tried to draw blood today.. a learned skill from First term and I couldn't get more than a mL :( It was frustrating. I feel as though I should be able to draw up as much as I need. I just want to take my dog and pack up all of my things and disappear for a while. Everyone keeps telling me not to stress and that it takes practice which I guess I know. I just.. am getting fed up. I'm burnt out on this stuff. I need a break. Also my grandpa died on Tues. Last week. I wasn't super close to him but it still hit me pretty hard. I was surprised at how upset I was.

I just keep wondering where everything went so horribly wrong...
Also.. I got my dog. I'm really happy about that.

Date:	2009-07-31 16:49
Subject:	Ugh!!
Security:	Public
Mood:	productive

So the dog that I want to adopt from school is the most adorable dog I've ever seen. He comes close to the dog I grew up with at home... not quite as awesome as her hahah ... but I love him. I liked him the first day I saw him back there and I just knew he was going to be the dog I would try to adopt. We get along so well ;wwwww; I've been walking him everyday during my half an hour break at school to get to know him and to get him used to me. Everyday his little face lights up so much when he sees me open the kennel door! Before he was sort of timid and disinterested in me while walking...he was too excited to be out to notice me. But I've been walking him for about a week now and today he finally noticed ;www; he waited for me and we played and had fun. I sat in the shade for a while and he came to my lap and laid there til I was ready to get up and keep walking. Then I put him in the outside kennel run and before he wouldn't even include me in playing but today he played fetch!! ;____; It was so fun! Then I put him away and gave him a treat and some fresh water (cause he was out of water!! >8( someone isn't doing there job) and just petted him for a while. ;________;
One of my classmates was back there when I was taking him out and she was like "Omg Lizbeth I can definitely see you adopting him you'd be so cute together" Me: 8333!!
Man, Kim I know you'll understand my soppy puppy story X3

Date:	2009-07-19 20:37
Subject:	....live
Security:	Public
Mood:	distressed

Why am I so depressed? Why do I feel so lonely??

Date:	2009-06-27 21:21
Subject:	Birthday
Security:	Public
Mood:	hungry

So I'm coming up on my 20th birthday. It's so crazy to be turning 20!!!
So to celebrate..I bought a super cute new outfit and Jesse is taking me to Cedar Point on Monday and then Put-In-Bay on Tuesday. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's this little island up in Lake Eerie.We're renting bikes and riding around the island all day. We're going to have lunch. The best part of that trip will be the ferry ride. It probably sounds silly but I've always wanted to ride a ferry X33 Anyways..I'm really excited!! ...Not so excited to be back in school :( I just..like having all this free time. It's way less stressful. And next term I will have school 8-3:50..an hour more of classes..an hour less of work. How will I pay my bills? :((( Worry worry worry

Date:	2009-06-06 13:37
Subject:	UGH
Security:	Public
Mood:	anxious

Stress stress stress...work work work....confusion confusion confusion....

So I bugged the crap out of the Petsmart manager and I finally have an interview set up for Friday at 4!! I'm so nervous, I hope I get the job!
This term at school is so boring X_X the good news is that i don't have much homework so far. My favorite class is taught by a real veterinarian named Dr. Crock he is so awesome and reminds me of my grandpa X3333 but it's such a cool class!

Jesse and I are going to get memberships to the gym near our house :UUU I'm going to get pool access and weight room access and whip myself into shape :)

Also, I went for a really long walk alone the other day. It was so nice. There is a really cool bike trail like 5 minutes from my house. I asked my parents to bring my bike when they visit. :) Jesse and I are going to ride our bikes there it will be awesome. :)))) I'll take pictures.

Also also also :DDDDDDDDDDDDD I've decided what to do about getting a dog! At the end of this term as a birthday present to myself(birthday is July 7th) and because I'll be on two weeks leave from school for break and since the new dogs will have been chosen from the shelter from school so I will pick from the ones that are left. My reasoning is that almost always, all the dogs at school get adopted, but the ones that are left at the shelter may not, so I will save one of them :) Plus, I'll do it at the beginning of my two week break so I have a lot of time to get acclimated to life with a dog :DDDD I'm so excited!

Date:	2009-04-26 01:14
Subject:	life life life crunch crunch crunch
Security:	Public
Mood:	depressed

So I went to my shadow site on Friday at a vet clinic and it was...BORING 8(((( I felt more in the way than anything and they said it was abnormally slow..there were like 5 clients the whole time I was there and there was a really rude tech that kept snapping at the shadow kids. Thankfully there were two other people from my school shadowing at the same place with me on that day so I had someone to talk to. Actually one girl started following me around almost as soon as I got there X3 and she came to lunch with me that day. And..I thought I was over my fear of blood but while I was there they did a dental surgery on a dog and had to pull some of his teeth and they were bleeding and I got light headed and felt ready to throw up! 8(((( I really need to get over my fear of blood!!! Halp! What can I do to overcome this??

Then after there I went to get a job application to Pet Palace and I'm calling pet smart on Monday..and then came home and headed to my parents house with James. I went with him to his grandma's funeral. I cried!! 8( I didn't even really know her..I talked to her a few times and actually was talking to her last weekend.. but it was just so sad and I just kept thinking what is the point? Living leads to dying 8( in the end none of this stuff will matter.

*sigh* I don't know 8(..I've been really depressed lately. Just too much work, too much work, too much confusion. I'm so confused in my life right now and I just feel like I'm digging myself a huge hole. I don't know what to do.

Also, my sister is thinking of joining the Marines. It came as a huge shock. I hope she doesn't :X...

I want to get a gym membership to the Y or to Lifetimes fitness and just get a pool pass. I was s frustrated at work tonight and I couldn't think of any way better to relieve that than to lap the pool. *sigh* I want a dog.

Sort of feels like falling down.

Date:	2009-04-10 19:17
Subject:	Schoooool
Security:	Public
Mood:	cold

Ugh..I'm stressing out about school. D:...I was fine and then suddenly finals week is quickly advancing upon me. I have so much to study, a project to finish, and more to study. 8( This is why I quit school in the first place X3 I mean sure, graphic design turned out not to be for me..but also I hate dealing with the stress of deadlines and homework. I'm determined to finish this time..but UGH. Tomorrow after work Jesse and I get to go home and stay with our parents. :33 I'm excited!! Easter dinner will be awesome. At my grandma's house we're grilling out. I'm taking vegetarian hot dogs and hamburgers to eat. :UUUU
For the record, I love being vegetarian and can't believe that it's not how I've always been. Also, I got a pet fish! I haven't named him yet, but he's cute. also, I'm poor :333 So in a nut shell...I'm rocking at school but it's hard and stressful and I wish I was graduating soon, life at the apartment is good, I love having Jesse as a roomie and I moved things around and it's cozy except I get hit on like everyday. Work has been good because I'm only working like 2 days a week, pay is bad because I'm only working two days a week lol..and my room is a complete and total mess! Hahaha..I think that is all.

If anyone knows where I can get powerpoint for free that would be awesome. I need it for my project. James said he'll give it to me but he won't be home til Monday B:

Date:	2009-02-10 13:12
Subject:	Work
Security:	Public
Mood:	irritated

So..I had my training day at Chipotle yesterday. B: And I found out that it was the only day I am training. That's right..I go in today and I will be on my own. I'm really scared because I'm not sure I can remember everything. UGH..I mean I know I will work through it..but it's really scary...1 day just doesn't seem like much.... so...yeah.. I don't want to go. X( And I don't have a schedule and it's bothering me because I'd really like to know what days I will have off! >8(

I hope my shift goes fast. I work 4 to 11 8( And my question is since there is only ever 1 cashier..how am I supposed to take my break to get dinner?

Date:	2009-02-06 16:20
Subject:	Jobs
Security:	Public
Mood:	crushed

So..I got hired at Chipotle on Wednesday..and was asked to cancel plans for visiting my family so I could "train." So I did..called mom and told her I couldn't make it this weekend after all. Then she says come in on Friday at 3:30 p.m. for paperwork. I showed up 10 minutes early..and when I went in nobody even knew why I was there. They all seemed really confused by the whole ordeal. And the manager on duty didn't even know I'd been hired. She said the lady I spoke with (which btw I didn't even know her name..I realized I didn't know when the manager on duty asked who I spoke to) had gone home sick. We figured out which it was after I described what she looked like. So she said "Sorry for the confusion, would you like to come back on Monday?"... W...T...F.....

And on top of that..right as I was asking all of this, another girl comes up and says "Oh, I'm here for an interview.."..W...T..FFFFFFFFFFFFF?!

So..I don't even know what is going on. Maybe they will call..maybe they wont..who knows. I could have went home this weekend. I could have freaking went home and relaxed...I'm having a bad day.

Date:	2009-02-04 02:07
Subject:	Orientation
Security:	Public
Mood:	anxious

So tomorrow is my new student orientation at school! I recently had zero dollars for my scrubs, but my roomie James is stepping up and buying me a couple pairs :B!! I'm paying him back, of course...but I am so grateful to get them tomorrow. Him and Jesse are accompanying me to my orientation. I get my scrubs, class schedule and overview, financial aid and graduate job placement meeting, and to mingle with my class mates...but I'll probably just ignore everyone since I'm so shy. :XXX Me: *clings to James and Jesse* <3

Jesse and I have been working out every night. :) I'm proud of us.

p.s. Jesse helped me pick out my outfit. X3 I spent literally like 2 hours trying things on ..and then maker her try them on. ahahahahahah. It was great fun.

Date:	2009-01-28 20:47
Subject:	8|
Security:	Public
Mood:	worried

Why. Can't. I. Find. A. Job. >8|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
I miss having money to buy food and go bowling and doing fun things with. 8( YOU SUCK ECONOMY.

Date:	2009-01-24 20:31
Subject:	Lol
Security:	Public
Mood:	ecstatic

p
r
a
i
s
e

m
e
I'm going to see Repo! tonight. I'm soo excited. I really wish I had gotten a blind mag shirt to wear to the showing. DX

Date:	2009-01-18 23:05
Subject:	Job
Security:	Public
Mood:	depressed

I can't find a job anywhere. I applied at 3 places that were HIRING.
The Container Store
Petpalace
AMC Movie theater
The container store just wrote me back saying they didn't need any help. Wtf.
If I can't even get a job at a place that is hiring...how am I going to get a job at all. I'm depressed. I need a job...I have 25 dollars...that's it. No money for rent..for my bills.. maybe coming here was a bad idea.

So I am in my new home now!! And...........I miss my family :(...but other than that it's really cool!!! It's a lot of work! lmao..like I have a lot more respect for my mom for all the work she does! Tomorrow Jesse and I are going job hunting. I stopped at this pet store across from my apartment to ask if they were hiring and they weren't!! Sigh..I really wanted to work there. :(

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Signed a lease!!! Quit college :UUU Decided to be a vet tech and got accepted to another college, started dating a girl, and quit my job at the grocery store!

2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
lol..I don't think I made any last year..or this year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Uhm, sort of. My friend James' friends had a baby son :>

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No!!

5. What countries did you visit?
None 8(

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
I would like to be stronger on my own.

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory?
February 17, 2008. The day I got into a fight with Jesse and then later spilled my guts that I like her :XX

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Finally admitting to myself that graphic design isn't for me :XX and finally getting my butt in gear to move out of here even though I'm scared to death! Also..figuring out what I want to do with my life!

9. What was your biggest failure?
Ugggh..being so depressed so much 8<....being so confused...


10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had my back worked on D: that's about it..

11. What were the best things you bought?
My DS...gifts for people....food for my family. It felt great to bring home some food to my family when times were super hard. Jesse helped too (thank you so much ;333;)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My sister's. Even after a really tough break up...she handled it really well and got back on her feet. I'm so proud of her for getting things together.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My grandfather... 8( He's been such a jerk to our family.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Gas!!!! And food..and clothes. Mostly gas, though.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
My birthday! Aaaand...Cedar Point trip 8>>..and lots of other smaller things.

16. What song/album will always remind you of 2008?
Metric - Grow up and Blow Away



17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. Happier or sadder?
Happier

ii. Thinner or fatter?
Thinner

iii. Richer or poorer?
Poorer!! Moving is expensive! X000~~

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Spent more time with my family and appreciated them more. Called home more often when I'm out. Saved more money!

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Getting depressed and upset. 8(

20. What jobs did you hold?
Part of the year I was still at IGA and then I quit and worked at My Favorite Things (a gift/coffee shop)

21. To where did you travel?
To visit Keenan at the beach! :U

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Yes.

23. How many one-night stands in this last year?
None.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
HEROES, South of Nowhere

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nope.

26. What was the best book you read?
Hmmmm..... I'm not sure..I read so much...the most recent book I've read is Marley and Me...I cried like a baby 8( it was SOGOOD.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Indie Music!! I had grazed the surface..but this year I dug into it..and loved it!

28. What did you want and get?
Uhm...courage to move forward with my life(even though I'm super scared)an amazing birthday..and an amazing Christmas. ;33;

29. What did you want and not get?
Hmm..to keep my kitty. ;3333333;...I'm too poor to bring her with me when I move.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Juno!!

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 19 and Omg..I got this bike I had been wanting for ages!! and I spent a day at my house watching movies with several of my closest friends. Then Jesse took me to the zoo!! and we spent an entire day together out of town and I got so many nice gifts!



32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Peace of mind..and not being paranoid about everything 8(

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Hmmm...more grown up and polished...but I still have my t-shirt and jeans days.

34. What kept you sane?
My close friends, and Jesse.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you like the most?
Hmmm...Not sure.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The failing economy..and the election stuff.

37. Who did you miss?
My family and old friends.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
My co-workers! I am going to miss them sooo much. 8(

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
No matter what, you must learn to stand and be strong on your own...because otherwise..you won't be able to let yourself live for you. I've learned this..and now must work to apply it to my own life.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I won't regret saying this, this thing that I'm saying
Is it better than keeping my mouth shut
that goes without saying

-You should always let people know where you stand and talk about everythig no matter how scared you are to bring it up.

Date:	2008-12-24 22:14
Subject:	I'm afraid of 16 out of 75
Security:	Public
Mood:	sick

[x] public speaking
[x] staying single forever
[x] Rejection
[x] being a parent
[x] giving birth
[ ] being myself in front of others
[ ] open spaces
[ ] closed spaces
[ ] heights
[ ] dogs
[ ] fish
[ ] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants
[ ] that Scary guy...
[ ] being touched
[ ] fire
[ ] deep water
[ ] snakes
[ ] silk
[ ] the ocean
[x] failure
[ ] success
[ ] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[x] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends mom
[ ] rats
[ ] jumping from high places
[ ] snow
[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[ ] crossing hanging bridges
[x] death
[ ] heaven
[ ] being robbed
[ ] falling
[ ] clowns
[x] dolls
[x] large crowds of people
[ ] men
[ ] women
[ ] having great responsibilities
[ ] doctors, including dentists
[ ] tornadoes
[ ] hurricanes
[x] incurable diseases
[x] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ] ghosts
[ ] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[ ] being alone
[x] becoming blind
[x] becoming deaf
[ ] growing up
[ ] creepy noises in the night
[x] bee stings
[x] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[ ] needles
[ ] blood
[ ] dinosaurs
[ ] the welcome mat
[ ] high speed
[ ] throwing up
[ ] falling in love
[ ] super secret

Final Total: 16

If you wish to post this in your journal, it's been requested that you title it I'm afraid of __ out of 75 common fears.

If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling.
If you get more than 20, you’re paranoid.
If you get 10-20, you are normal.
{{{If you get 10 or less, you're fearless.}}}
People who don’t have any are liars.

Date:	2008-12-13 19:10
Subject:	NEEEEED D:
Security:	Public
Mood:	cranky

http://www.threadless.com/product/1454/My_Crony#zoom This shirt was sewn for me ;333;